Career Day for Dummies
by Red Witch
Summary: Xavier decides to have a Career Day at the Institute to improve student morale. Unfortunately for him, only GI Joe shows up! R&R this cute little completed fic!
1. What Do You Want to be When You Grow Up?

**X-Men Evolution characters? GI Joe characters? Don't own 'em! Well I got the idea for this story and it didn't fit in with 'Trouble with Teleportation' but it takes place around that time frame. Just another mad fic running through my mind. **

**Career Day for Dummies**

**Chapter 1: What Do You Want To Be When You Grow Up?**

It was a typical evening at the X-Mansion. Well as typical as one can have with several hyperactive mutated teenagers in the house. Xavier had called all the adults for their weekly faculty meeting. "I see that there haven't been that many papers to grade this week," Xavier remarked. 

"I'm amazed we got anything done this week with the Misfits popping over here every day causing havoc," Logan growled. "On the up side the kids' fighting abilities are improving."

"How could they not? They and the Misfits are having brawls nearly every day!" Xavier sighed. "But right now I am more concerned about the academic side of our school. I don't want them falling behind in schoolwork if they are readmitted to Bayville High."

"Fat chance," Logan grunted. "They still blame us for blowing up the school." 

"Yes well," Xavier sighed. "Perhaps it's just as well I was able to get the Institute certified as a school. Although I did have to pull a lot of strings."

"I just wish you could get more teachers," Logan muttered. "Now why do I have to be the one to teach the Home Ec Class again?" 

"It was either that or Driver's Ed," Hank reminded him. "And Kitty and Bobby still have their learner's permits. As well as several other students." 

"On second thought how hard can teaching cooking be?" Logan asked. "Wait a minute…Kitty and Jean are in that class too right? Oh man, either way I'm dead!" 

"Charles I'm really starting to get worried about the students," Hank said. "I mean look at these writing assignments. They were supposed to write about what they think they will be doing in the future. Read these! They're a bit disturbing to say the least. Take Tabitha's paper. It's only a sentence. 'Blowing something up.' That's not even a full sentence. It's only a fragment. I mean her entire future boiled down to three words." 

"With Boom Boom it's also pretty accurate," Logan chuckled.

"I'm serious," Hank said. "Nearly all the student's papers are like that. Of course most of them are a lot longer but they all pretty much convey the same message. Take Rogue's for instance."

"Future? What future?" Ororo read the paper. "The only future I have is to beat a whole bunch of morons up to stop 'em from blowing up the world, or blowing up mutants or robbing banks or something. That's me, the perfect living weapon. And if a certain roommate doesn't stop calling a certain rock head all the time I am gonna personally…" She looked up. "You're right Hank this is disturbing."

"What did she write?" Xavier asked.

"Trust me," Hank sighed. "You don't want to know. Although I have to give her some points for originality. I never thought you could do that with a telephone and a watermelon." 

Just then Shipwreck and Roadblock appeared via their teleportation machine. "Hello everybody!" Shipwreck grinned. 

"Not now Shipwreck," Xavier groaned. 

"What?" Shipwreck asked. "We're just here to say a friendly hello!"

"Well we're discussing a problem with our students," Ororo glared at him.

"Go ahead, don't mind us, discuss," Roadblock said. "Maybe we can help."

"I doubt it," Logan sighed.

"Wait a minute Logan," Xavier said. "Maybe they can…"

"Oh no Chuck if you're gonna ask 'em what I think you're gonna ask 'em…" Logan groaned.

"We'd better buckle up," Hank groaned. "Because we are going to be in for a bumpy ride!" 

************************************************************************

**_*Attention Students. Tomorrow there has been a change of schedule,"_** Xavier sent at telepathic message throughout the building. ***_First, all Danger Room practice has been suspended for tomorrow. Repeat, there will be no Danger Room sessions tomorrow for the entire day. *_**

"No big surprise," Bobby grumbled. "Especially after Quicksilver managed to fill it up with chocolate pudding." 

"Hey it gets us out of practice for one day!" Ray told him. "I'm happy." 

**_*All classes tomorrow have also been cancelled. We will be having a special all day assembly. You will all report to the large classroom in sub basement 2 by 9 am tomorrow. Attendance is mandatory for all students. That is all. * _**

"Whoo Hoo!" Bobby raised his fists in the air. "No class! Sweet!"

"Are you nuts?" Sam asked. "Didn't you hear him? We are going to have some kind of assembly tomorrow, all day! Lord only knows what that's gonna be!"

"Oh come on," Bobby said. "How bad could it be?"

"How bad could it be?" Scott frowned. "Here's something to jog your memory. Two words: 'Fire Island'!" 

"Oh yeah," Bobby's face fell. "I forgot."

"I don't see how you could!" Sam groaned. "It was only three days ago!" 

"Yeah nearly getting roasted alive would kind of stand out in most people's minds wouldn't it?" Scott groaned. 

"Well maybe the Misfits won't show up tomorrow," Bobby said.

"Yeah and maybe pigs will fly," Scott groaned.

************************************************************************

"So what's up Professor?" Scott asked Xavier at dinner.

"Yeah how come none of us have regular school or Danger Room sessions tomorrow?" Kitty asked. "Not that we're complaining mind you."

"It's come to my attention that there is a certain…attitude towards your own futures that is prevalent among you," Xavier explained. "Now while I find it admirable that many of you want to fight for mutant rights and hone your powers, I am disturbed at the recent belief that because you are mutants all you can do is fight."

"Well…isn't that true?" Ray asked. "I mean, isn't that the point of all this training so that we can be some kind of soldiers?"

"The point of training is to be able to use your powers to help people as well as control them," Xavier said. "However this school isn't just about that. It's also about helping mutants fit into society." 

"Ha!" Tabitha picked at her salad. 

"How the heck can we fit in society when it doesn't even accept us?" Ray grumbled.

"But one day society will accept you," Xavier said. "In time. How can you expect the world to see mutants as anything other than weapons if that's how you view yourselves? I'm afraid I am partially to blame for this. In my efforts to train you on the use of your powers, I neglected to educate you on possible futures you can have in the world. I don't want any of you to feel like you're trapped at the Institute forever because you don't have anywhere else to go. I'd love to have all of you stay here and teach when you graduate as well as go on missions. But I also want you to succeed in the world. I want you to see you have a choice on what to do with your life. That just because you are mutants, it shouldn't discourage you in what you really want to do in life." 

"So what does this have to do with tomorrow?" Kurt asked. 

"I've made a few calls to certain agencies and places and tomorrow representatives will come to discuss possible careers," Xavier told him. 

"Career Day for Mutants?" Rogue groaned. "You have got to be kidding me!" 

"Oh man," Ray groaned.

"Those things were boring enough in school!" Bobby groaned. "I thought that at least one good thing would have come from us being kicked out of Bayville High!"

"You haven't been kicked out," Hank told him.

"Not yet," Bobby grumbled. "Wait…does this mean that we won't be seeing the Misfits tomorrow?"

"Hey yeah," Remy brightened. "Maybe tomorrow won't be a total loss!"

"I'm afraid the Misfits are attending this too Cajun," Logan said. "There are gonna be a few Joes to talk about possible careers as well." 

"Oh goody," Kurt moaned. 

"I knew it," Scott sighed. "Total disaster." 

"Another fun day with the Misfits and GI Joe," Tabitha twirled her finger around in the air. "Whoopie."

"Among other guests," Xavier said. 

"Oh come on Professor," Kitty said. "Who's gonna show up for a career day for Mutant High?" 

"How much you wanna bet only the Joes show up?" Rogue grumbled. 

"Have a little faith Rogue," Jean said.

"I do have a little faith," Rogue said. "Very little faith." 

"I gotta agree with Rogue on this one," Scott said. "No offense Professor but you gotta admit our track record with special events isn't very good. They always end up in a disaster."

"It will not be a disaster," Xavier said. "Trust me."

"Famous last words Chuck," Logan shook his head.

************************************************************************

The next day Xavier and some of the Joes were waiting in the hallway with Ororo and Logan. "I can't believe none of the people whom I contacted showed up!" Xavier sighed.

"I can," Logan said. He saw Hank walking towards them. "So Hank, did you find out what's the hold up?"

"Yeah where are they?" Roadblock asked. "They're gonna miss Career Day?" 

"They're…not able to attend today I'm afraid," Hank sighed.

"Oh I gotta hear this," Shipwreck groaned. "Did they chicken out gracefully or just a 'So long Sucker' quote?" 

"Well they all have excuses," Hank sighed. "Very inventive excuses." 

"Such as?" Xavier raised an eyebrow.

Hank consulted his notes. "Well, our first speaker has the flu. Our second speaker's wife has the flu and needs to go to the hospital. The third speaker's grandmother has the flu and a broken leg and needs to go to intensive care…although I could swear I could hear somebody calling out 'Fore' in the background." 

"Figures," Logan grumbled. 

"The other excuses were some relative died, one person called and claimed the speaker died," Hank went on. "And one apparently ran off to join the Peace Corps in Bermuda."

"So none of them wanted to show up," Logan said.

"Oh no, one did," Hank said. "The accountant from that large corporation. He really wanted to come but as the nice officer on the phone explained things to me, it could be quite a while before he manages to make bail." 

"Oh…fudge…" Xavier put his hand on his head. 

"So the only people who showed up are from GI Joe," Ororo said. "For some reason I am not surprised."

"I knew it!" Logan threw up his hands.

"Now don't fear, each Joe has a special career," Roadblock said. "In fact we can get some more Joes with different skills down here. This could still work."

"Wanna bet?" Shipwreck snickered.

"Well it's worth a shot," Xavier sighed. "It's too late to back out now." 

"So who's gonna be crazy enough to go first?" Logan asked.

"I'll do it!" Psyche-Out, the Joe psychiatrist spoke up.

"It figures," Logan sighed. 

**Next up: Career Day begins! Let the festivities commence! **


	2. Psychiatrist

**Well here we go. I'm saying this right now; it is not my intention to slander any choice of careers. It's just the Joes who do these jobs are rather…odd. That's all. **

**Psychiatrist**

"This is so lame," Rogue grumbled as she lay back in her seat. "Nothing but a big waste of time!" 

"For once I agree with you," Lance muttered. The Misfits were there as well with the X-Men in the auditorium like classroom. 

"A career day for mutants," Althea groaned. "Now I've seen everything! How dumb is this?" 

"Yeah we know what we're going to be when we grow up yo," Todd propped his feet up on the seat in front of him.

"Well some of us may want to be something other than assassins," Tabitha quipped. "Although I admit that is an interesting career option."

"I'm going to be a full fledged ninja," Todd snapped. "They aren't just assassins you know! Some of them are bounty hunters or soldiers like Snake Eyes and Jinx!" 

"Some of them are even mystic sorcerers or crime fighters," Althea said. "Of course there are a few that are crime bosses as well."

"Wow I like had no idea that there was so much variety in the ninja profession," Kitty blinked. "But I don't think it's exactly for me. I mean isn't it like a boys only profession?"

"Hello! There have been female ninjas around for centuries!" Althea said exasperated. 

"Really?" Tabitha asked.

"Yeah!" Althea rolled her eyes. "It's just that for some reason only males get featured most of the time in movies!"

"So it is an equal opportunity profession," Amara said. "That's good to know."

"What do you need to know about it?" Rogue snapped. "You're a princess for crying out loud! You're gonna be a queen when you grow up!" 

"Hey she can be a ninja queen!" Todd spoke up. "It's happened before!"

"Really?" Amara perked up. "Cool!"

"Unbelievable," Jean groaned.

"Only mutants would seriously pick being a ninja as a career choice!" Rogue said exasperated. "Although there isn't exactly that much out there to choose from to begin with!" 

"Now that is where you are wrong Rogue," Xavier appeared before the class. "This career day is to show that mutants have many options while choosing a career. Not just being a crime fighter or a terrorist." 

"Or a ninja," Todd said. 

"Yes that too," Xavier sighed. "But you can be anything you want to be."

"What if you wanna be a ninja?" Todd asked. 

"Well there are other things you can be," Xavier tried to reason with him. "You don't have to be a ninja if you don't want to."

"What? What's wrong with being a ninja?" Todd asked.

"There is nothing wrong with being a ninja," Xavier rubbed his temples. "But maybe some other people want to be something else."

"But…" Todd began. 

"Just shut up Toad and let's just get this over with," Lance said. "The sooner they start this, the sooner we can get out of here."

"Okay," Todd nodded.

"Fine," Xavier sighed. "Well we have contacted a number of people in different professions to talk to you about their choice of careers."

"Then how come only the Joes showed up?" Rogue asked. 

"Well there are a lot of different careers that can be found in the army as well as real life," Xavier fidgeted. 

"Nobody else wanted to show up didn't they?" Remy asked.

"That's not true," Xavier said. "Just…some of them couldn't make it here right away. So without further ado here's our first speaker to tell us all about the joys of psychiatry, Psyche-Out."

"That nutcase?" Remy asked. 

Psyche-Out made his way to the podium. "Good morning ladies and gentlemen. I am here to talk to you about the psychiatric profession. It is a career, which deals with the healing of the mind. A career that can help troubled souls find the path to a better life. It is also a career that can help you get a ton of money as well as material for a lot of best selling novels!"

"Oh god…" Hank groaned in the back. 

"I'm serious kids," Psyche-Out said. "I mean you barely have to do any work at all. Just copy down what people are saying! These books practically write themselves! All you have to do is come up with a few catchy slogans and change the names around and you have it made!"

"Maybe we shouldn't have started off with him," Xavier moaned.

"Ya think?" Logan glared at him. 

"I mean what other profession do you hear about people's sex lives and get paid for it?" Psyche-Out continued. "It's brilliant. And if you get a really disturbed individual, you can get some great tapes out of it too!"

"Psyche-Out!" Xavier snapped. "I think the students are more interested in the practical aspects of psychiatry."

"Oh you mean the boring stuff," Psyche-Out said. "That's all well and good. But it can be a fun job! If you get really good at it you can work in the crime department. That's where they have you profile serial killers and terrorists and all those psychotic loons and stuff."

"Takes one to know one," Rogue muttered under her breath. 

"So you're saying being a psychiatrist is a very lucrative profession?" Tabitha asked.

"Better than that," Fred told her. "You can make a lot of money too!" 

"Yeah and you can also prescribe as many drugs as you want too," Psyche-Out said. "And as long as you're not really stupid about it nobody will catch you!" 

"Cool!" Jamie said excitedly. 

"Where did he graduate from?" Rogue whispered. "Psychotic State?"

"I think all of the Joes are in some kind of psychotic state," Scott moaned. 

"Hey!" Tabitha waved her arm. "Is it true that you can lock up in the booby hatch anybody you want?" 

"Trust me on this, they can," Wanda grumbled. 

"Well it depends on how you can phrase certain questions," Psyche-Out said. "Here's one example of how to get someone you hate locked up…" 

"Okay that's enough!" Xavier shouted. "NEXT!" 

"But I haven't finished!" Psyche-Out said. 

"Yes you have!" Hank grabbed him and dragged him off the podium. 

"NO! NO! I WANNA KEEP TALKING!" Psyche-Out screamed as he was dragged away. 

"And this is the guy we go to for help?" Pietro groaned.

"That explains a lot," Kurt said. 

"Well that was informative," Rogue said. 

"Yeah I'd say Career Day at the Institute is getting off to a flying start wouldn't you say?" Scott groaned. 


	3. Computer Expert

**Computer Expert**

"Are you sure you haven't been able to get through to anybody?" Xavier asked Ororo.

"They all put me on hold," She sighed as she hung up the phone. 

"This is not going the way I wanted to," Xavier sighed. "This was supposed to be an opportunity for the students to see that mutants can be more than just soldiers. It wasn't supposed to turn into 'GI Joe Day'!" 

"Calm down Chuck," Logan said. "It ain't your fault they're the only ones who showed up!" 

"Well they're in with Mainframe now," Ororo sighed. "Okay Psyche-Out may not have been the perfect choice to start off with but Mainframe does seem to be a bit more stable." 

"I hope so," Xavier said as they wheeled their way to the computer room. "They've been in there for about an hour and there haven't been any explosions."

"All right!" Lance's voice could be heard. "Blast that sucker!" 

"You were saying?" Logan asked as they went inside. "What the…"

All the students were surrounding a huge computer monitor. It looked like something out of Space Invaders. Kitty was at the controls. "Come on you Cobra Geeks," She said as she blasted some kind of device. "Eat lasers!" 

"Man Kitty you are so good at this!" Lance said excitedly. 

"Video games," Ororo moaned. "No wonder the room is still intact." 

"You spent all this time playing computer war games?" Xavier asked.

"Uh…it's not exactly a game," Mainframe said. 

"It's a computer simulation," Scott said. "I mean check out these graphics! It looks so real!"

"It is real you moron," Althea said.

"What?" Xavier asked.

"This is going on right now," Pietro pointed. "Cobra's sending some of their robot troops to destroy one of our military satellites. We're defending it. Actually Kitty is defending it." 

"Are you telling me this is going on for real?" Kitty yelped. 

"Yeah," Pietro said sarcastically. 

"Mainframe…" Xavier growled.

"I thought this would be a perfect field test," Mainframe shrugged. 

"Field test!" Kitty hit the control panel hard. Several lights and buttons flashed. Then the camera went dead. "Oops!" 

"What happened?" Logan asked as he looked at the screen. 

"I think Kitty blew up our own satellite," Althea groaned. "Way to go Pryde!" 

"Okay boys and girls that is what we call an Oopsie," Mainframe said. "Actually there's another name for that but you'll learn it when you get older." 

"Storm, try those agencies again," Xavier groaned. "Please!" 


	4. Chef

**Chef**

"Well this career looks rather safe," Xavier sighed as the students were settling into the kitchen for the next career demonstration.

"Oh yeah," Shipwreck rolled his eyes. "Right." 

"Greetings boys and girls!" A short, fat man with a wild beard and glasses called out to the students. "I am Chef BA LaCarte! The initials stand for 'Bon Apetit', which is the motto of all good chefs!"

"So what's your motto?" Shipwreck called out from the back. 

BA chose to ignore this. "I am going to tell you all about what it's like to be a chef. I will even show you how to make a recipe."

"Or in your case how not to make a recipe," Shipwreck quipped. 

"Funny guy," BA quipped. "This from a man who needs a recipe to make ice."

"At least I know how to follow a recipe, what's your excuse?" Shipwreck said. 

"Dad will you put a sock in it?" Althea snapped. "Don't heckle him!"

"Thank you Althea," BA smiled.

"BA is perfectly capable of screwing this up without your help!" Althea said. "Go ahead BA." 

"Let me tell you about what drew me to cooking. There is nothing more satisfying than making a good meal for hundreds of people and making them happy," BA smiled.

"How would you know what that's like?" Shipwreck called from the back.

"SHUT UP!" BA snapped. "As I was saying, before I was so rudely interrupted, cooking opens many doors to you."

"Yeah doors to the bathroom, doors to the emergency ward…" Shipwreck quipped.

"You want this serving spoon up your…?" BA shouted waving the utensil. 

"Um I think we ought to start with the demonstration shall we?" Hank asked.

"Right," BA nodded. "Now you can see here are all the ingredients as well as the utensils. You need the right tools for the job. Bowls, spoons, a vat, a whisk, a flame thrower-extra large, an electric cattle prod…" 

"We did mention that BA used to work for Cobra right?" Roadblock asked.

"Which explains his lethal cooking," Shipwreck quipped.

"Keep it up funny man!" BA growled. 

"How about we adults take a walk while BA finishes his talk," Roadblock guided Shipwreck out the door. The rest of the adults followed. 

"Are you sure this is a good idea?" Logan asked. 

"Yeah BA could give those kids a bad case of food poisoning," Shipwreck said.

"We're in danger of that anyway when Kitty or Jean cooks," Logan smirked. 

"I still wish I could find someone else to speak along with the Joes," Xavier sighed. "No offense."

"Don't worry about it," Shipwreck waved his hand. "It's going fine. Okay we had a rocky start at the beginning but things can only get better from here on in."

"Provided BA doesn't blow up the kitchen or something," Hank said.

"That won't happen," Roadblock told him.

"Professor! Professor!" Kitty ran in. 

"Kitty what's wrong?" Xavier asked.

"It's the dish BA was making!" Kitty said hysterically. "It's gotten out of control!"

"What do you mean out of control?" Logan asked.

"I think it's alive!" Kitty yelled.

"Kitty that's impossible," Ororo said.

"Uh…maybe not," Roadblock gulped. "I think we'd better check it out before things get hot!" 

They all went into the kitchen where it was complete pandemonium. Roaming around the kitchen was a huge green blob making noises. Scott tried to shoot his optic rays at it but it merely absorbed them. "It has no effect!" Scott shouted.

"My lightning isn't working either!" Ray screamed.

"It's eating the table!" Tabitha yelled. 

"Run!" Althea shouted. 

"Oh no! Not again!" Roadblock shouted. "It's time to retreat ladies and gentlemen!"

"You mean this has happened before?" Ororo shouted as they fled the kitchen. 

"Unfortunately," Roadblock groaned. "I thought we destroyed that recipe!" *

"We gotta stop that thing!" Sam shouted. "It's making more of a mess than a bull with diarrhea!" 

"Don't hurt my baby!" BA shouted.

"If we don't stop it your baby will eat us all alive!" Shipwreck snapped. 

"Calm down Precious!" BA shouted. "Daddy's here!" 

"Precious is gonna get sliced!" Logan charged with a snikt of his claws. He started tearing into the blob, splattering pieces everywhere. 

"MY BABY!" BA cried.

"Oh this is just disgusting," Pietro zoomed out of range. 

"Gross! I've been slimed!" Jean wailed. 

"This is gonna take forever to clean out of my fir!" Kurt shouted. "I thought the Toad was slimy! 

"Hey!" Todd snapped. Then he got splattered. "Aw gross! Man I hate it when you're right!" 

Bobby froze the blob with his powers as Logan chopped away at it. "I think we've finally got it under control!" Logan shouted. Then the blob broke out of its prison. "Or not…" He ran out of the way of the rampaging green mass. "BA remind me to kill you!" 

"I don't believe it," Kurt groaned. "We've finally met someone who's a worse cook than Kitty!" 

"Hey!" Kitty hit him with a piece of fruit. 

"Even their food is crazy," Remy said in shock. 

"Just once…" Xavier sighed. "Just once I'd like to see the Joes go somewhere and **not **cause mass destruction!" 

"That ain't gonna happen, Chuck" Logan watched as the Joes and Misfits chased the green blob around. "Just not gonna happen." 

*** From the short story Breakfast at the Pit. Read it, it's fun! So what career comes up next? Wait and see! **


	5. Ninja

**Ninja **

"Good Morning ladies and gentlemen, my name is Gabriel Moore. Otherwise known as the Blind Master. And I am here to talk to all of you on the exciting and mystical world of the Ninja!" 

"Oh brother," Logan groaned in the back of the class. "Yeah this was a bright idea!" 

"Now I know what a lot of you are thinking," The Blind Master spoke. "How can I possibly pick being a ninja as a career choice? Don't I have to be born into a high ranking Japanese family to be one? Well kids I am living proof that the answer is no. I'm from Chicago for crying out loud. You don't get much more removed from Japan than that!" 

"I can't believe this," Scott groaned.

"Yeah I know," Todd said. "Finally a career that's really interesting!" 

"Also it is a common misconception that to be a ninja you have to be trained from birth," The Blind Master continued. "Actually that's not true either. I didn't get to start any serious training until I was in my early twenties so it's not too late for you! If I can do it, anyone can!" 

"Can you believe this?" Scott groaned. 

"Wait a minute," Kitty said scribbling something in her notes. "I just wanna write this down!" 

"Now what kind of training exercises do ninjas do you might ask?" The Blind Master said. "Well let's start off with something easy. Everyone come on up out of your seats and grab those nunchucks over there."

"I can't watch this," Xavier muttered as he wheeled himself out of the room. "Storm…"

"I'm still on hold!" She shouted. 

"All I wanted was to show my students they could be anything they wanted to be?" Xavier muttered to himself. "Was that too much to ask? Was it?"

"You talking to yourself Chuck?" Logan walked out. 

"Apparently it seems to be the only way I can get any decent conversation," Xavier sighed. "Now what's he doing? Do I want to know?" 

"He's in there juggling chainsaws," Logan said, "It's pretty impressive I gotta admit!" 

"Well there is one agency I could try," Xavier picked up his cell phone and was about to dial when all of the sudden a working chainsaw was thrown from the other side of the room. It made a huge hole in the wall. 

"Sorry!" The Blind Master shouted out. 

"We have got to get some new speakers," Xavier groaned. "Before the school needs even more repairs!" 


	6. Medic

**Medic**

"So who's in with them now?" Xavier asked.

"Lifeline," Logan told him. "Which considering the amount of damage and fights that go on around here, a good medic could be very useful!" 

"That's good," Xavier sighed. "At least now we have a somewhat normal career choice to show them. That last one was much too…unorthodox." 

"Well I think Kitty was getting a little bit too interested in the ninja thing," Logan groaned. "She's even asking me where she can buy ninja outfits and throwing stars."

"Hopefully Lifeline can be a more calming influence," Xavier sighed.

"YEEEEHHAAAA!" Sam could be heard screaming. 

"BANZAI!" Lifeline shouted as he wheeled around the hallway in a wheelchair. Sam was in one right behind him with several other mutants in wheelchairs. 

"EAT MY DUST!" Sam laughed as he used the speed of the wheelchair to kick his powers into high gear. However he was going a little too fast and ended up ramming into the wall. 

"What is this?" Xavier shouted.

"Wheelchair races," Lifeline said matter of factly. 

"YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO TALK TO THEM ABOUT BEING A MEDIC! NOT HAVE WHEELCHAIR RACES IN THE HALLS!" Xavier shouted. 

"It's one of the perks," Lifeline said simply. 

"I'm okay…" Sam said weakly. 

"Lifeline!" Roadblock walked in. "I thought you promised General Hawk you wouldn't do that anymore! Now you went and made another door!" 

"Sorry…my fault," Sam got up wobbly and staggered around. "See…no problem!" Then he passed out on the floor. 

"Okay class now we have a volunteer for our bandage wrapping lesson!" Lifeline got up. 

"Oh man," Logan groaned as Sam was carried away. "He's gonna look like the Mummy. I know it!" 

"Rogue was right," Xavier groaned. "This was a bad idea!" 

"The scary thing is we consider Lifeline to be one of the sane people on the team," Roadblock sighed. 

"There are **sane **people on the Joe team?" Xavier asked. 


	7. Cobra Terrorist?

**Cobra Terrorist? **

"To say Career Day at the Institute is not going well is the understatement of the year," Hank sighed as he put out the last of a recently made fire with an extinguisher. 

"I was just trying to show the kids a lecture on fire safety," Barbecue the GI Joe fireman spoke. 

"Like how to start a fire and burn the place down?" Logan groaned. "They already know how to do that." 

"A little too well if you ask me," Hank sighed. 

"I knew it!" Scott groaned. "The mansion is getting trashed again! And it's not even noon!" 

"Well at least they can't blame this on us," Amara sighed. 

"I have to admit though," Lance stroked his chin. "This day has been a lot more fun than I thought it would be." 

Suddenly a nearby monitor started to crackle and his. "What's going on?" Scott asked. 

"Someone's broadcasting some kind of transmission," Mainframe told them. "I don't believe this!" On the screen was Cobra Commander.

"How did old Snake Face find a way to transmit a signal to the Institute?" Althea asked.

"How does that maniac do anything he does?" Mainframe replied. 

"Greetings Mutants," Cobra Commander hissed. "This is Cobra Commander. I have managed to patch into your communications via satellite for a very important message." 

"This I gotta hear," Roadblock folded his arms. 

"Listen carefully to what I have to say," Cobra Commander said. "Are you confused on what you would like to do with your life? Do you need direction? Well you can find it all if you join Cobra!" 

"SAY WHAT?" Althea shouted.

"I heard about your little 'Career Day'," Cobra Commander told them. "It's only fair that Cobra be represented. Why should the Joes get all the recruits?" 

"This is unbelievable…" Ororo said. 

"Not really if you know Cobra Commander," Shipwreck sighed. 

"Hit it!" Cobra Commander shouted. Immediately the background turned into a flashy stage complete with dancing Cobra Girls and Cobra soldiers with flashy uniforms. Music blared and images of Cobras all around the world were shown in the style of a music video. 

_"And all the girls say I'm pretty fly for a Bad Guy!" _Cobra Commander sang as he danced around. 

"I do not believe this!" Kitty shouted.

"I do," Xi said. 

"Man these guys don't quit do they?" Scott asked.

"You have no idea," Althea shook her head. "Toad take a look for bugs!"

"Aw man!" Todd hopped away. "I'm on it!"

"Bugs?" Jean asked.

"Little tiny cameras that are shaped like insects," Althea told her. "One of Cobra's favorite sneaky tricks!" 

"Found one!" Todd shouted. Then a slurp could be found. 

"Don't swallow it this time!" Althea called out. 

"Too late," Todd moaned. 

"Well that's not gonna go down well," Roadblock grimaced. 

"Neither is this garbage," Logan pointed to the monitor. "Will somebody please shut him off?" 

"Fine," Shipwreck took out his laser and fired at the monitor, blowing it up. 

"I meant without using explosives!" Logan groaned.

"Sorry, my bad," Shipwreck said.

Logan looked at Xavier. "And people think I'm psychotic?" 

"Hey! I'm not finished yet!" Cobra Commander popped up on another screen.

"Yes you are!" Shipwreck shouted as he shot at the other monitor. 

"Oh great another fire!" Hank groaned. 

"I'd never thought I'd say this but I miss the Danger Room," Rogue groaned.

"Yeah it's safer," Kitty said. 

"Not to mention fewer explosives," Jean sighed. 


	8. Marine or SEAL?

**Marine or SEAL?**

"Well I suppose it was inevitable that the Joes actually talk about choosing the military as a career option," Xavier sighed. "Anyone have any more antacids?" 

"So who did you get to talk to the kids?" Logan asked. "General Hawk?"

"He's busy planning a mission," Roadblock told him.  
"Beach Head?" Logan asked. 

"Beach Head didn't want to come," Shipwreck said. "Said something about it being a cold day in Hell before we dragged him to another nuthouse or something like that. But we did get some other speakers to talk about military life." 

"Who?" Xavier asked. Then he heard something crash in the classroom. He put his hand to his head and closed his eyes. "Oh god no you didn't bring those two!"

"We did," Roadblock sighed. 

"Why?" Xavier asked.

"Psyche-Out thought that it would be a good exercise for them to learn about cooperation," Roadblock said. "But its times like this I seriously think our shrink needs a vacation!" 

They ran into the classroom. Both men were brawling openly on stage, shouting at each other the entire time. The students were watching from the sidelines. "Wow and they say we have anger management problems," Fred scratched his head. 

"Let me take a wild guess," Xavier sighed. "Neither of them could agree peacefully on who should speak first? Am I right?" 

"MARINES!" 

"SEALS!" 

"MARINES!"

"SEALS!" 

"Got it in one," Roadblock sighed. 

"Now didn't we all see this coming?" Althea asked.

"And they complain **we **act immature," Jamie groaned. 

"Watch out for the flying chair!" Roadblock ducked as Leatherneck threw one. 

"Did anyone remember to bring the pepper spray?" Shipwreck asked. 

"The Few…the Proud…The Totally Insane," Rogue groaned.

"Ororo I don't care how you do it!" Xavier shouted. "But we need to get someone else in here now!" 

"Yeah while we still have a Career Day!" Logan said. 


	9. Teacher

**Teacher**

Twenty minutes and several broken chairs later the fight had finally been stopped. By then Ororo had come with the good news that she had managed to get someone to speak to the students right away. So the students were taking a break as well as the adults while waiting for the speaker to arrive. 

"Thank god we finally got someone," Ororo sighed. 

"Who'd you get?" Shipwreck asked. 

"Mr. James," She said. "He used to be a teacher at Bayville High before he transferred." 

"Oh yes I remember," Hank nodded. "Now what did he teach again?"

"He didn't say," Ororo said. "But he was very pleased at the generous sum I offered."

"Bribed him huh?" Shipwreck snickered. "That always works." 

"He was a bit reluctant at first," Ororo admitted.

"It's amazing how prejudice disappears in a flash at the mention of cold hard cash," Roadblock shook his head. 

Not long after Xavier and Hank were escorting a very nervous looking man to the auditorium. "It was good of you to come and speak on short notice Mr. James," Xavier said. 

"Well when you mentioned the speaker's fee I figured," He started to say something until he got inside. "Oh god…" His eye caught something. Or rather someone.

"What is it?" Xavier asked.

"That…student…" He said very nervously.

"Here we go," Kurt muttered.   
"I realize that some of the student's appearances may be a bit unusual," Xavier began. 

"Appearances, shcmerances!" Mr. James gasped. "You didn't tell me certain other students would be here!"

"Look if this is about the time I accidentally superglued you to the desk…" Pietro spoke. 

"NOT YOU! THAT ONE!" Mr. James screamed as he pointed at Kitty. "AGGGGGHHH! I THOUGHT I'D SAW THE LAST OF YOU!"

"What?" Kitty blinked. 

"Oh dear," Hank sighed. "I've just remembered something. You used to teach Driver's Ed didn't you?"

"Oh god yes!" Mr. James screamed. "Until the day…that awful day…I had to drive with…with…**_her!_**"

"Oh for crying out loud," Kitty said. "We weren't going that fast! And so we had a minor collision in the parking lot? No big deal!" 

"NO! NOT HER! ANYONE BUT HER!" He screamed. "SHE RUINED MY LIFE! GET ME OUT! GET ME OUT! GET ME OUT!" He ran away screaming. 

"Mr. James! Come back here!" Ororo called out.

"We'd better get him before he hurts himself," Roadblock said. He and Ororo followed him. 

"Rewards of teaching huh?" Rogue asked. Everyone left in the room glared at Kitty. 

"What is everybody looking at me for?" Kitty said defensively. "I am not that bad a driver!"

"I believe Mr. James's actions prove evidence to the contrary," Hank looked out the window. "Oh look, he's now taking off his clothes and climbing a tree." 

"Cool," Tabitha said. "It's just like high school when we used to freak out all the other teachers!"

"Hey remember the time when the school shrink had to be dragged away kicking and screaming in a straightjacket?" Todd laughed. 

"Do I?" Fred laughed. "Hey come to think of it, that wasn't long after she had a session with Kitty about her grades! Man Kitty, I thought we were experts at driving teachers nuts! What did you say to her?"

"I was just talking to her about the latest gossip and my relationship with…a certain someone," Kitty blushed. "It was just for a couple of hours." 

"You talked to the school shrink for hours about Lance?" Rogue asked. "No wonder she lost her mind!" 

"Wonderful," Hank sighed. "Now who's gonna talk about teaching?" 

"Hank I think you're gonna have to take this one," Xavier sighed. "Hank? GET BACK HERE!" 

"Uh," Hank was running down the hall. "Can't talk…forgot I had something on the Bunsen burner!" 

"Hank!" Xavier snapped. 

"I think he's still a bit frazzled after our last Danger Room session," Tabitha explained. "We kind of fried him a little."

"Again?" Xavier rolled his eyes. 

"I'll do it!" Shipwreck proudly stood in front of the class. "I'm a great teacher!"

"Yeah, right! You couldn't teach a dead goldfish how to float belly up!" Althea shouted. 

"I taught you how to play poker pretty well didn't I?" Shipwreck snapped.

"Yeah and that reminds me, you still owe me fifty bucks from our last game!" Althea snapped. 

"Just once…" Xavier sighed. "Just once I'd like something to go right around here!" 


	10. Nothing Wrong With Being SelfEmployed

**Nothing Wrong with Being Self-Employed**

"There I was! Face to face with a thousand pirates with nothin' but an empty rifle, my knife and my matches!" Shipwreck spoke. 

"And then you transformed into the Purple Power Ranger," Althea quipped. "Last time you told this story it was only 200 hundred pirates and you had a bazooka!"

"That was a different time," Shipwreck sniffed. 

"So let me get this straight," Kitty looked at him. "Twice you fought pirates in the Sahara Desert? Give me a break!" 

"They were sand pirates!" Shipwreck said.

"There are no such thing!" Jean said exasperated. 

"Hey I'm trying to set a mood here on how great it is to be a sailor!" Shipwreck told her. "Did I ever tell you about the time I got lost in Saigon and wandered down this back alley…oh wait. Most of you are too young for this story."

"Okay that's it!" Xavier called out. "Career Day is now over! You can all go now and have the rest of the day to recover!" 

"Thank god!" Jean groaned. One by one as the X-Men left the auditorium they overheard their comments.

"I am happy to be an X-Man," Scott repeated to himself. "Thank god I am happy to be an X-Man!"

"Maybe I should consider becoming a priest?" Kurt sighed. "Who am I kidding?" 

"If those guys are considered to be normal then I'm the freaking tooth fairy!" Amara stormed out. 

"I hate my life," Rogue grumbled. "I hate my life." 

"Maybe I should be a mercenary," Tabitha grumbled. "I can be my own boss, work my own hours…not live with lunatics…." 

"No hope," Ray moaned. "No hope. No hope…" 

"I'm gonna be a ninja!" Jamie said happily.

"Goody for you," Roberto snapped. 

"It's official!" Kitty rolled her eyes. "I'm gonna be stuck here the rest of my life and I'll never get into college and go to parties and get a decent job that will actually pay me and…" 

"I wonder what kind of weapons the military will want me to make?" Forge asked himself. 

"They're a little down aren't they?" Logan said sarcastically. 

"I don't think this helped much," Shipwreck sighed. "In fact I think the kids feel even more dismal about their futures than they did before this all started." 

"You think?" Xavier snapped. 

"Well look at the bright side," Hank said. "We went an entire day without the kids fighting each other."

Xavier looked at all the damage surrounding them. "For some reason, that's little comfort to me right now. Does anyone have any more aspirin?" 


End file.
